


Ineffable wives

by hourtohourtohour



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, God and Satan are lesbians, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Wives, M/M, The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens), ineffable husbands, they are the best and worst matchmakers, they're the og matchmakers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 10:43:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19332955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hourtohourtohour/pseuds/hourtohourtohour
Summary: Good Omens au where Satan isn't played by Benkysnink Cucumberman, and God and Satan are lesbians who have been trying to set up Aziraphale and Crowley since The Beginning.





	Ineffable wives

**Author's Note:**

  * For [locheia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/locheia/gifts).



> this is dedicated to locheia for, firstly, coming up with this wonderful idea. i also borrowed satan's outfit from her. so thank you to her for being lovely, beautiful, brilliant, and the most wonderful person i know. thank you for introducing me to this incredible show, for sending me great posts, for sending me all your incredible writing, and for putting up with me on a day to day basis! i love you to the stars and back <33333
> 
> (also of course i made it '20s themed. how could i not? you looked so beautiful in those romeo and juliet lights <3)

On a Tuesday afternoon in the week after the Armaggedidn’t, God and Satan materialised outside the Ritz. While they generally thought themselves to have better taste than Aziraphale and Crowley, the Regency simply wasn’t what it had been in the 1920s. They turned to face each other, giving approving nods, before God offered Satan her arm and they walked inside.

For old times’ sake, they had both chosen to wear their form from the 1920s, one of the best decades in their opinions. God’s wore wavy blonde hair in a faux bob with a white headband and a black tuxedo and bow tie. She had peacock earrings and an emerald green pocket square. Satan wore dark hair, curled, that grazed her shoulders. She wore a resplendent dress with a grecian neckline, x-cross back that came down half way to her knees. It had a beautiful shimmering green fabric and peacock feathers attached to the back in a fan-like train. Her eye makeup was shimmering blue and she had small white earrings in the shape of doves. 

They sat down at a table, God pulling Satan’s chair out for hair. Satan fluttered her eyelashes in return.

“So the world didn’t end,” God started, a little awkwardly.

Satan smiled and the stars far above seemed to sparkle a little brighter. “No, it didn’t,” she agreed. “Of course, we knew that already; the ineffable plan, and all.”

“I think you’ll find that it’s my ineffable plan, actually,” God chided.

Satan rolled her eyes. “Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to.”

God leaned in towards her companion. “A little birdie told me,” she ignored Satan’s eye roll, “that two certain idiots have finally admitted their feelings to each other!”

Satan grinned. “I told you that nearly ending the world would do it!”

“Well, I wasn’t so sure, after your previous ideas.”

“For the last time, the Ark was a great idea! Those two were just more oblivious than anticipated! Anyway, it’s not like your ideas have had all that much success, either.”

“Crowley rescued Aziraphale from the french revolution! They then went for lunch together! That would make any self respecting celestial pair confess their undying love for each other! And don’t even get me started on the 1940s-”

Satan reached across the table and took God’s hand in hers. “My dear, I know how infuriating it has been to watch those two dance around each other for the last six thousand years, but you must put it into proportion. How long did it take us, darling?”

God’s brows drew together in thought. “Well, it must’ve been about, well-”

“4004 BC? After Aziraphale and Crowley’s first meeting? We watched them talk at the gate, then started to complain about Gabriel and Hastur.”

God smiles fondly at the memory. “Oh yes, I remember. We talked for three years straight!”

“Well that garden was so beautiful, and so empty. And I couldn’t help but kiss you under those flowers! Well done on those, by the way. Flowers.”

God blushed and Satan blew her a kiss.

“Anyway,” Satan continued, “it’s not like we didn’t dance around each other for a few millennia before that.” 

God raised one eyebrow. “Did you say dancing?” She stood and offered Satan her hand. Her lips quirked into a smile as took God’s hands. God placed her hand on the small of Satan’s back and Satan placed her hand that wasn’t intertwined with God’s on her partner’s shoulder. 

“Music. One of mine, wasn’t it?” Satan asked, looking up at God, their form’s height differences more prominent standing up. God made a non-commital noise, that told Satan that she was right. Satan smirked and God rolled her eyes before quickly kissing Satan’s soft lips. They swayed to the music, Satan resting her head on God’s shoulder. They both thought of an extremely similar moment, decades ago.

_Stars shining bright above you;_  
_Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you."_  
_Birds singing in the sycamore tree._  
_Dream a little dream of me._

_Say nighty-night and kiss me;_  
_Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me._  
_While I'm alone, blue as can be,_  
_Dream a little dream of me._

_____ _

_Stars fading but I linger on, dear---_  
_Still craving your kiss._  
_I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear,_  
_Just saying this..._

_____ _

_____ _

_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you---_  
_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you._  
_But in your dreams, whatever they be,_  
_Dream a little dream of me._


End file.
